Healing Our Image of God And Ourselves (part 2)
Thesis
God's love, presence, and forgiveness are the ultimate healers for our image of Him and ourselves.
How do we come out of hiding?
Accepting ourselves
Accepting oneself is the vital step to be taken in order to cross the line that goes from bondage of Sin into freedom in Jesus.
If I am still trying to cross that line, but haven't been able to, that means that I am still immature because I am still looking for permission to be.
I am looking for that permission not because it hasn’t been given by God or other, but because I haven’t been able to accept myself with the good and the bad.
This is an indicator that I need to get through the barrier of failure to accept myself.
I need to confess my own responsibility with what I did with the harm that was caused to me.
Self-centered people have not died to the old self (no matter if they are Christians or not) therefore they may not accept themselves as they are.
They refuse and resist the mercy of Romans 6:6 because they believe wholeheartedly in their negative self-image. (“We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.”)
The difference between the old self (old man life without God), the flesh, and the true self (the redeemed, justified, rooted in Jesus self)
The flesh is our sinful nature that constantly tempts us to disobey God. In it we planted different things that became patterns of coping with our own hurt and pain, etc.
Our self has been redeemed by Jesus and that’s why now we are a new creation. When Paul mentions old nature, old self, old man he is talking about who we used to be before redemption
We put to death the habits, patterns, mindset, our old way of living in the darkness without Jesus—flesh—and now we embrace the life, mind, character and nature of Jesus, by which we live by.
Only by fully accepting this new self (as Jesus is so are we) we’ll find our true center, we know and see ourselves to be white-robed in the very righteousness of Christ Himself.
We must acknowledge when our ability to accept ourselves has seriously hindered our ability to focus on Jesus—not His things, not His work, but Him, who He is. Our trauma, loss, and deprivation-induced negative self-perceptions and lies must be addressed and handled.
I can be a Christian filled with the Spirit of God, but if I have myself, the light of God is going to emanate through me in distorted ways. I will still be seeing myself through the eyes of others around me, those who perhaps could not love or affirm me. I will not be seeing myself through the eyes of God; I will not be listening for the affirming as well as the corrective words He is always speaking to me, His beloved child. I will be dependent upon others, perhaps grievously bent toward them; I will be seeking their affirmation, their validation, and even their permission for my every move. Failing to accept myself, I will have no solid center, therefore I will "walk alongside myself". I will suffer what the Scriptures name as lack of maturity and lack of freedom and will be a 'man-pleaser' rather than a 'God-pleaser'.
—Leanne Payne
Inability to accept ourselves affects our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about God, ourselves, and others. When we don't accept ourselves, we're more likely to have unhealthy relationships with God and others. A narcissistic perspective, that is self-righteous, self-perception cannot recognize, appreciate, or fully appropriate its justification in Christ and instead turns inward on the self.
Victim Mindset Testimony
Narcissistic Mindset Testimony
We won't enjoy the freedom Jesus won for us as long as we refuse to accept ourselves and let the old self rule our lives. We may have Christ and be saved, but we won't have freedom or new life.
How to go from here?
Our greatest need as sons and daughters of God is to replace our old patterns of dealing with life, ourselves, God, and others for new ones, which requires a new mindset, a Jesus’ mindset. (Romans 12:2; Philippians 4:8; Colossians 3:1-4). This requires listening to God and ourselves. Listening prayer helps us see ourselves as God sees us.
Listening implies encountering God, staying in His presence, and receiving His Word and revelation about why we feel and do the things we do. It involves writing down every negative, untrue, and irrational thought as we become aware of them, and then listen to Him for healing, positive, and true words and patterns to replace them.
This is how we get God's mind and eliminate unhealthy thinking. When we do this, we realize we're holding onto some of these old patterns and don't want to let go. They often help us cope with the pain of growing up, being vulnerable, and taking care of ourselves. We don't usually recognize them as old wounds used to avoid reality, justify failure, and get attention and love.
Pain can be a signal to listen to the next step into wholeness.
"What is this pain all about?" (whether the weakness and physical, emotional, or spiritual pain).
"What are you trying to tell me with this?"
2. Forgiving Others / Accepting Others
“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.
—Matthew 6:14-15
According to Scripture, unforgiveness is one of the biggest obstacles to wholeness. I can only begin to understand its soul-damaging effects by meditating on Jesus’ words.
Nowadays it is more and more challenging to talk about the soul, because the soul dynamics are unknown to most, which has caused lots of confusion. For that reason I'll be sharing the most common blocks (according to Leane Payne) that get into our way on this matter of forgiving others
FORGIVING PETTY OFFENSES
Petty offenses are those everyday annoyances that get us; because of their frequency it’s easy to despise them and be complacent and resentful.
Jesus does not see people as we see. Stopping to be in His presence and asking to see this person through His eyes can change our perspective.
When we do this, we often discover strengths in the other person.
We may also be painfully reminded of our weaknesses and Jesus' patience with our small things.
Humility and longsuffering play a major role in this process of love and forgiveness.
Here what humility means: Humble yourselves [with an attitude of repentance and insignificance] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up, He will give you purpose]. —James 4:10.
We need to humble ourselves to the point of being able to pray this prayer even when others offend us, so we can be delievered from our own pride and self-righteousness: "Father, I'm nothing without You. Please have mercy on me. I've been seeing without You. If You leave me for a second, I'll be even more proud and self-centered." When we can pray this prayer without any kind of self-hatred or sense of superiority towards others, we will be well on our way to maturity in Christ.
UNFORGIVENESS DUE TO BEING OUT OF TOUCH WITH OUR HEART
Many don't realize they're unforgiving until the Holy Spirit shows them. In that case, we must name our offender's sin against us and then forgive them before God.
TESTIMONY - God asked me to forgive my mother over 10 years ago. This request revealed my need to forgive her and my need of humility
When asked to say out loud the offense and the harm committed against me and asked to forgive her, my anger rose up instantly. Today I know that was crucial because I needed to see my anger and unwillingness to forgive rise up and flow into the One who takes and carries all my sin and darkness in my place. Just then I was able to ask Jesus to fill all the places where pain, anger, and unforgiveness have been with His healing love and light.
FORGIVING THE UNFORGIVABLE
In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years.
—Isaiah 63:9
Sometimes we must forgive actions that go far beyond our pride and prejudice. Forgiving is possible, even when it seems impossible. Satan uses our hurt, pain, and trauma to trap us in pride and self-righteousness, preventing us from fully identifying with Christ and forgiving.
Jesus took my sin, suffering, and current pain on the cross. I feel His pain on the cross when I identified with Him. That's what it means to die with Him. In that place, I was able to trust Him and say, “Father forgive them, they don't know what they do.”
My unwillingness and inability to forgive flowed into Him, and He gave me freedom. After dying with Him, I rose with Him.
A CLEANSING GRIEF
When sorrow and loss humble us, we, as sons and daughters of God, can find grace to mourn our sins, sorrows, grievous losses, and injustices before Him.
We know that if we don't find the grace to forgive, our hearts will get colder and harder, and as sinners, we'll become more cruel. But if we cry out to Him for the power to forgive when we are hurt and sad, we get healing and mercy.
This is why it’s not in our successes and victories, but in our sorrows and grief that we find our truest selves.
When we truly forgive (a key principle of Jesus' cross and gospel), we discover that He is (and has always been) with us in all of our afflictions. If we don't forgive, we turn away from Him and lose touch with our true self.
WHEN THE NEED TO FORGIVE IS AT AN UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL
Every traumatic rejection unforgiven, whether at a conscious or unconscious level, will be manifested out in some negative way. For example, we may reject others even before we are consciously afraid of being rejected.
We need to deal with our failure to accept ourselves as we are, and our unconscious negative feelings and attitudes towards ourselves and others too (resulting from early trauma).
Let’s be mindful that we’ll always treat others as well or as bad as we treat ourselves consciously and unconsciously.
Again, we must remain humble before God and avoid pride and self-righteousness. We need Him to illuminate our hearts because we don't realize how much healing is needed.
3. Receiving Forgiveness
But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)
—Ephesians 2:4-5
If by God’s grace we have been forgiven, why is it sometimes hard to receive that forgiveness? How do we help people to forgive? Why is it so difficult to receive forgiveness from God? Have you ever admitted to the same sin twice or three times?
Roots that block us from receiving forgiveness
REMAINING UNDER LAW - STOP LIVING UNDER THE LAW
For Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God. — Romans 10:4
People who still try to be "good enough" on their own are living under the law, which is the old covenant.
That person feels guilty most of the time, if not all the time; also
that person can't be free or forgiven because when he or she stands before the cross, what his actions are saying is something like, "Hey, Jesus, you didn't do well enough! Come down, and I'll go up and do better than you did." We might not be aware, but when we don’t say that our actions do; we are rejecting what Jesus did and conquered for us, His love, His forgiveness... This is very important! And we need to stop taking this lightly and repent of it.
A core question in this matter is: in whose righteousness are we trusting in whatever trouble or challenge we’re in: ours or Jesus’?
When we stand in God’s righteousness, we naturally practice His presence in our lives.
Satan, the accuser, is constantly trying to make us look at our self-righteousness and encourage us to determine what is fair and unfair, what is love and evil, based on our own perceptions, conveniences, and will. That’s why we need to surrender, to put down our old self with its own self-righteousness.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE “BAD GUY” WITHIN
Born again Christians often struggle to understand how they should view themselves. Am I a sinner (a "bad guy") or a saint? Even though our primary identity now is that of a saint, the reality is that we carry both natures: God’s and Sin. We live with an ongoing fight within us: our sinful nature fights our spirit. That's why we must keep setting aside time to kneel before God again as sinners and ask Him to show us our sins, both conscious and unconscious, so we can confess and be forgiven.
When we deny the presence of the “bad guy” within us, we go about unforgiven, because we’re denying rather than confessing the existence of the “old man”, the sinner within us. Some react to this with pride through their own self-righteousness, others with an overwhelming sense of guilt, shame and condemnation.
We need to be aware of both our sinner and saint identities. Our primary identity is that of a saint, but every life must incorporate the rhythm of confession, repentance, and forgiveness. After receiving forgiveness, we are always to rise from confession in our true selves in which Jesus is always the center.
SELF HATRED - LOVE YOURSELF
We often mix up the fact that God's forgiveness is a gift with how we feel about ourselves. We are unlikely to ask for forgiveness if we are on our knees and despise ourselves, or we ask it without a true sense of repentance. Victim Mindset or Moralistic (Self-Righteous) Mindset
We have become emotionally attached to ourselves in a way that has been ingrained in us for so long that we hardly even notice it. Not always we are in alignment with God's heart and will. That’s why we need to urgently go to prayer, to encounter God and ask Him to soften our hearts, to heal our blindness, and to bless us with humility and spirit of repentance.
BECOME AWARE OF YOUR NEED FOR FORGIVENESS
We might feel like we're going to commit the same sin again as we're confessing it. In this situation, we not only fail to trust God’s forgiveness, we fail to ask for forgiveness, but we also don't love ourselves very well or forgive ourselves. Therefore, it is healthy for us to feel genuine guilt and to experience depression as a result of our sin. We reach the end of ourselves and rely entirely on the righteousness of God because of our despair over who we are and what we have made of our lives.
We like Sin; it’s pleasant to the eyes. We like our self-protections, we like to prove others wrong, etc And we need to learn to dislike it in order to stop doing it, we need to love God more in order to stop it.
ASK GOD TO REVEAL YOUR HEART TO YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS
Asking God to reveal our heart to us on a regular basis requires humility and trust in HIM and his love for us. It is a very humbling thing to do.
We can not trust ourselves to know the depth of our hearts because Sin works in us consciously and unconsciously.
In conclusion, my wrap up comes in the form of a spoken word. May you hear the Holy Spirit speak directly to your heart. May you feel encouraged to come out of hiding!
Be blessed!